Confessions of a Stay at Home Mama

I know it has been awhile since I have posted, but I have been making it a priority to focus on aspects of my life as a mom, wife and daughter of God that I want to improve rather than always stressing that I need to post on my blog or the DIY projects that I have been meaning to get to haven't gotten done. I have felt convicted lately to focus on the things in myself I want to improve for my family's sake and for my own sake. I can so easily get caught up in what I should be doing around the house, at church, with friends, etc., that I forget to stop and focus on what God is whispering in my ear and what He is telling me for my family and my marriage. But then often times I then let my overwhelming feelings set in and that's when I hear that voice of lies telling me that I am failing as a mom and wife and that I should be doing so much more and should be able to do it all..clean, cook, read my Bible, have an amazing blog, have all my DIY projects completed, be completely organized 24/7, have a perfectly behaved godly child 24/7, have a perfect marriage, and the list goes on and on and if I'm not accomplishing it all I'm failing. I tend to be a person who gets overwhelmed easily and as a stay at home mom sometimes I feel so overwhelmed with just the every day things that need to be accomplished and kept up that I get so hard on myself that I can't keep up with it all, let alone a blog or my DIY projects around the house that I have been wanting to get to or my chipped toe nail polish that I have been meaning to repaint for a month and so on. To all my fellow stay at home moms you know how routine your day can feel and there are some days I love that, but then there are some days I wish I didn't always have to clean up the same toys and clean the same dishes or how the laundry never seems to stay clean, and the month has rolled by again and it is time once again to clean the bathrooms, etc. Don't get me wrong I have wanted to be a stay at home mama and wife for as long as I can remember and I don't wish to have a career outside the home, I LOVE being home with Norah and I am so excited to have more kids. I have felt lately so overwhelmed with life as a mom and wife, but at the same time I feel that God has drawn me closer to Him to show me how much what I do means and the importance of it eternally and He is reminding me of why I have desired to be a stay at home mama and wife for so long. Sometimes I feel stay at home moms are forgotten about, we don't juggle work (outside the home) and home life like working moms, but I feel as if we do juggle work and home life because our home is our workplace and it never stops and never slows down, but only speeds up. As I'm writing this my eyes are not dry anymore and I realize it feels good to get some of these emotions out. But then I'm reminded the Lord hasn't forgotten me, He sees all that I do even when no one else does and He is the most important one of all!

I have been reading several books about raising up godly children and heart oriented discipline and I feel the Lord has already given me so much from these books, but not only has he only taught me things to teach Norah, but through the text He has so faithfully encouraged me and loved me and reminded me that me staying home and raising Norah (and our future children to come) and being a godly wife to Casey and making a house a home and putting healthy food on the table are all amazing things to be proud of and that He has designed me for this and I don't have to listen to what my culture tells me, but to listen to what He thinks of me and to honor Him in all I do. The other day I was reading "Don't Make Me Count to Three" by Ginger Plowman (a great book my good friend Danielle recommended to me) and I realized something when I read what the author wrote in concerns to being a stay at home mom..."God, is this really what I'm supposed to be doing? I mean, don't you have something really important for me that requires a little more skill than tying shoes and cutting the crust off sandwiches?"...then it hit me I realized that often I don't see the importance of me doing the laundry or cleaning the high chair for the 50th time, or cleaning Norah's poopy diaper, or staying consistent with teaching Norah godly ways, or vacuuming the dog hair off the floor every other day or doing the checkbook, cleaning sheets and the list goes on and on. Just because it seems that these mundane tasks aren't accomplishing anything great doesn't mean that they aren't. Ginger Plowman goes on to say,

 "Now let's talk about my greatest challenge today...and every day. It is raising these two precious children in the ways of the Lord. God does have an important job for me, and it does require much skill. It is my calling, my priority, my struggle and my goal. I will rise to the occasion and accept the task at hand. I will love, nurture, and train my children the way that God has called me to do. 

Moms, we need to be reminded of the awesome responsibility that God has given us. When we respond to the high calling of motherhood with passion, the rewards are far greater than any we could ever gain outside of that calling. The joys of motherhood are rare and beautiful treasures that can be easily missed if we don't seize the opportunity to grab them. Being a mom is more than being a cook, chauffeur, maid, counselor, doctor, referee, disciplinarian, etc. (just to name a few). It's about molding character, building confidence, nurturing, training, and guiding. There is nothing like the influence that a mother has on her child. A mother's influence has enormous potential to shape the person a child becomes, for good or ill."

After reading this I realized that its not about me and I am reminded to be a Proverbs 31 woman. So many times I think I feel overwhelmed because I am striving and I don't want to strive, my desire is to be a godly woman and in that a godly mom and wife, I think often times we separate these rolls and say oh but we can't loose ourself when we become a mom, we still must do things for ourselves, which is true to an extent, but we can't forget being a mom and a wife is who we are, its who God has created us as women, they aren't just separate rolls and titles. I have felt for quite sometime that being home for my husband and children is such a huge responsibly and I don't take it lightly. I have always felt what I do in my home has eternal value. I want to please the Lord so greatly in this area of my life. I want to be a godly wife and mother and raise children in the Lord and if that is all I accomplish in this life, I am content. More and more lately I feel the Lord reminding me this life is not mine, but His and I want to take His Word and put it in my heart, teach it to my children, live it out, live for Him in all I do and what He has called me to do. And right now in this season he has called me to be a stay at home mom, and I'm so incredibly thankful, and I will wholeheartedly put all of me into it. I was reminded in the "Don't Make Me Count to Three" of Galatians 6:9, "And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up." What I sow now in my children and my marriage will reap rewards later on in my life and most importantly eternally, so I must not grow tired of doing good! I also felt the Lord remind me in this verse below that I need to trust in Him when I don't understand, and if I continue to follow Him and seek His ways in my role as a mother and a wife He will direct my steps...Proverbs 3: 5-6 says "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding, In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths."

I hope I didn't bore you with my post today, thank you for listening and I hope I encouraged you to be the woman God has called you to be!